Oh Jesus!

me thinks Me is Preggers... hope its not a false alarm... GOLLY!! that would be excellent news... who has a 33 day cycle??? today is day 33 and no sign of the red robot yet... (PLEASE LET THERE BE TWINS!!!)
so today am home..new housie and all so am like showing her the ropes... am not sure she's gonna stay around long... I can already see mistakes... and I told her bout the window sills and she be like thats too much work? what? lol... what to do!? dammit!! the hunt continues... wacha she finishes i see what she does...

c'est la vie

...and sometimes can be mad unfair this here life... here's the situation... so I already said earlier I am a glorified sales person right? and I HATE  LOATHE it!!!! with every damned bone in my body... every fibre on me head... I know I know, you get it! I hate it... now that that's cleared... I want to give you the background of this here little story... so I've been in sales for the last 5 years...(I know, shut up!) I will tell you this... God absolutely loves me, If I ever had a doubt, my stint in sales proves it... when I think it cant get any worse, in comes a huge sale... Not my efforts (Honest Engine!!) Its not like most of the time I go actively looking out for the sales... HE just does bless me with them... so what do my bosses think? I'm like the AWESOMEST thing they've had in sales since... I don't know...sliced bread sounds old so insert CLEVER quip here(since.......) NOT! I am not sales person!!! just because I meet em targets and haul in checks does not make me a sales person(I am not even trying to sound haughty here, it just is...) Trust, a SALES person will be interested in you, your children, pets, dentist appointment and farm back sijui where... half the time, mwenye kichwa just wants you to sign the dotted line - a.ki! I do NOT care...not in a bad way, but see, I'm NOT a people person.... I enjoy listening to conversations and holding interesting FUNNY conversations with random folks both in and out of my head but that's not what I signed up for... before I plugged my behind into sales, i was a finance person... accountant...booooring.... i know.. 'matter of fact when i signed up for this, I absolutely did not know I was gonna be running around for my bread almost all the time....flipping out fabulous "glorified sales person" business cards at folks who did a double take and pulled out a haram.bee card when they looked at the title... hell, they might even have more bank than I do... lol
so anyhooooooooooo to cut a long story short.... I've been meaning to get into client service roles... roles that I could do and NOT have to go out and look for business(don't twist it, I am NOT lazy!) I just hate having to ask people for their business but I love servicing(get your head out the gutter) their accounts, general information, stomping out fires...call me, I put the F in FIRE MARSHALL... (again I've digressed...poot! help!!)

So REALLY...here's the thing... a position came up at the plantation read:work early this week at work, so my immediate boss tells me to look up some other colleague who used to work with us to come get it and am like HEEEEY!!! I've actually been meaning to get out of sales, and he's like hahahah! seriously call her up... and am like SERIOUSLY man... dude... I guess in his head he thinks she's going nowhere, she tops sales, what is she thinkin bout??!? so am like wtvr...alright. call up said colleague, she gets the job, EXACTLY| what I had in mind for me!!! how now!! I will not lie... I BAWLED my eyes out yesterday when i came home... I mean, she's a nice person and its cool that she's got the job, but cut me a twig man!!! I SERIOUSLY WAS looking to get out of this sales rut!! I friggin hate it!!!

So other colleague in department I wanted to get into comes up to me and asks me why I dint ask for it(I'd told her I was looking, so I gave her the above story) so she asked said boss... he retorts, but she's a top seller!!!!!!!!AAARRGH!!!! (It is NOT me!!!! I PROMISE!!!) so yeah that's like bummed me out right now.... more like a sucker punch right in my gut!

BUUUUUT!!! I talked to SO(I do lub this man!!) he was real sweet... and we have a PLAN...lol talked to a relative...wooosah!!! ten KO's right thur of how i should stop whining and seeing as everyone sees me as a top sales person, I should concentrate and work it....

I hope someone understands...I am not trying to be vain, I know, lots of people looking for jobs out there, I am blessed etc, etc, but this eats me EVERY damn day!!! I have so much potential... my brain is slowly dying... I hate sales... I really really want out and into customer service/CRM... trust!! I am what is in that JD!!! they just think am the other girl...

Jesus!! I need you to come through...

Whats for dinner: noodles and mince meat in honey mustard sauce *cooked with a heavy heart*

why now?

althought that is not the real title of this post, it had to be the first item today!! who was watching the mheshim.iwa thingy on Kt.n>? who does that to grown men/!?? who put ALL OF THAT make up!? foundation? I knew the OD makeup foolishness with us womenfolk was rampant but on men!? muthee? FOOORESH!!

in other random news.... I've got a feeling... that NO... its not gonna be a good night... sometime back, like way back...I used to get this urge to go kill myself(in a way that the good Lord would not send me to hell) like e.g pretend not to see the speeding bus or jump infront of the "range" in athu...but i got over that and when i look back at why, I want to beat mself to a pulp... no, it was NOT a boy... even I'm not that dumb... am generally a heavy melancholic, deep thinkin, keep to yourself so yeah... so lately I've been getting them feelings again... Trust! I'm in a happy place...well almost if you dont count that I still hate my job(I'm a glorified sales person, only with a fancy schmancy title...(titles are sh!t btw) but generally I am in a not so bad place...so what is the problem then? I do not know.... I just keep doing my eulogy in my little head and seeing peeps weep wondering who would be the saddest and who I'd leave what for...lol I know I AM crazy... i guess this too shall pass... I wonder what people would say about me when I died....

other random excited ish... were doing a birthday wknd for one of my girls out of town... suwit! *cant wait* but were doing shared rooms...*aaargh!!!I like to think alone!!* (I have a thing about personal space people... )

I have an inate fear of giving birth but I want twins soooo bad!!! I could give a lung for em... cute adorable twinkies that will confuse the hell out of me... no, I'm not preggers...YET! yes, we have been trying... came off the BCPs late feb... people, stop with the pressure, I get it, love-marriage-children-grandchildren...I friggin get it! hail! she just got married last year... back off!*snarls*

speaking of which, our 1 year anniversary is coming up this weekend, i sense nothing planned *GULPS* see the kind of girl I am is, I make a friggin fuss over peoples birthdays, baby things, promotions, gigs, etc cuz i think THATS how it should be...(TRUST ME<>) but I am a total fuss ball when it comes to events, totally misunderstood.....

Whats for dinner: chaps & stew and butter-cheese spinach

PS: Pork is the best thing in the whole entire world!!! like ever ever ever!!! esp. the skin... *getting the shakes*

so mwenye kichwa herein known as MK a.k.a me... went for the vagina monologues at carnie jana.... and as usual being the skeptic that i am... thought now really WHAT could you possibly tell me about the va-jay-jay that I dont already know... late bloomer and all... what!? I was gobsmacked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
especially the short movie after that!!! JESUUUUUUUUUU!!!! yaaani watuuuu!!! rape is real and rife!!!! jichungeni!!! and always pray to whichever deity you pray to... ni mu-hime!!(pronounced MOO-HAIM)
today am upset as hell!! with SO... (May I remind you I'm praying for patience this week? I realised, I may appear humble and may believe i am HOWEVER, I realised... I judge people in my head alot... blame it on being in sales for the last 5 years... I will SASS.YOU.OUT in my little head before i decide if you are worth sharing myO2... outwardly though I will smile and be poilte but passively listen to what you have to say.... I need to change that!
gosh!!! so long story short... we have talked at length about alining those tyres and that damned battery(Its an 1000tareweight vehicle).... AT LENGTH ya'll.... did he do it...? NOT!!! why? he forgot.... situation Carnie... after the V.monologues... car refuse to start... DO NOT CALL HIM(Becasue I will go off on him in perfect queens english! (ps:when I'm upset as hell, I will go off on you in perfect english no sheng, no swa, nutsin! and a few choice french words side bar: I am praying for patience end side bar:)
anyho... being the mechanic that i am.. (thank you pops) i fixed the batt and trooped on home(MAD AS HELL!!!) I refuse to speak with him right now... I know, childish of me right? dude! go take a dump, I dont care!
So am going to see me pops today, he has summoned me... I wonder what he wants to speak about... we have a wierd relationship this our family... at sonme point growing up, we had the happy on the outside fight on the inside kind of situation... If only those outsiders knew...lol we WAS FRAUDSTERS!!!! and had perfected the art... ok back to wondering...
Whats for dinner: Seeing as I am going to see my pops... I'm presuming sandwiches and tea? awesome!!

Day one...*YAY*

so I'm SURE ya'll thought this would be in swahili right? NOT! no... I have absolutely nothing against swahili... dude! its my mila! just that sometimes when you're used to writing out things in english, your head hurts trying to read summ else(Sowwy dad, all those primo days of making me read taifa leo out loud were torture!) who had that kind of dad... love him to bits though... odd bits and all....
SOoooooo As you may or may NOT have noticed, I ramble alot starting out with one thing and starting another story mid sentence and getting back to story A in about 4 minutes(annoying I KNOW!! but this girl gets bored F-A-S-T!!!) aaaaaand It annoys the hell out of Mr. Hubz a.k.a SO(Significant Other) a.k.a bobo...secretly I know he likes it...lol dont get me wrong, I am a VERY quiet person, all the loud convo's go one in my head... (Loooooord!!! If someone were to open my head and hear me... wololo!! DEEEEZaster!)
Anyho.... this being my first post et al, I will not ramble much just that I needed and avenue get em thots out of me head :) so ya'll are it!

whats for dinner: Mokimo, in the very VERY african way with butter, black pepper(btw I could have black pepper with everything tea included!!! *hearts BlackPepper!!*), then fried it in garlic and brown crunchy onions AND pork!!!(SO keeps saying he'll get me a pig farm(secretly I know they wouldnt last 5 minutes, I would gobble all of em thangs up!!! SOOOO delicious!) ... bobo... you BETTER loveded it!

so I guess some more ramblings tmrw...? yeaaah... feeling much better already :)